When it comes to nurturing emotional health in children, the words we choose carry lasting influence. According to educator Lily Howard Scott, language plays a central role in how children interpret their experiences, build resilience, and regulate emotions.
In a recent Harvard EdCast episode, Scott outlines how subtle shifts in communication can support children’s social-emotional growth. Below are five practical and research-informed ways to reword everyday interactions to better support children’s emotional wellbeing.
1. Reframe Mistakes as Opportunities for Growth
Instead of: “You got it wrong.”
Try: “That was a brilliant mistake—what did you learn from it?”
When adults reframe errors as part of the learning process, children are more likely to take healthy risks and develop a growth mindset. This approach reduces the shame often tied to failure.
2. Acknowledge Emotions Without Trying to Fix Them
Instead of: “Don’t be upset.”
Try: “It’s okay to feel upset. Do you want to talk about it?”
Validating a child’s emotional experience without rushing to solve it allows them to feel seen and heard. Over time, this builds self-awareness and trust.
3. Normalise Emotional Fluctuations
Instead of: “Calm down.”
Try: “Feelings are like visitors — they come and go.”
This analogy helps children understand that strong emotions are temporary. It supports emotional regulation by encouraging them to observe their feelings rather than become overwhelmed by them.
4. Model Emotionally Healthy Self-Talk
Instead of: Only correcting a child’s reaction.
Try: “I got frustrated earlier too, so I took a moment to reset.”
When adults verbalise their own coping strategies, children learn that emotional regulation is something even grown-ups practise. It also makes self-compassion more accessible and acceptable.
5. Use Curiosity Instead of Criticism
Instead of: “You’re not trying hard enough.”
Try: “What part feels hard right now? Can I help you think it through?”
Shifting from judgement to inquiry encourages collaboration. It also helps children build problem-solving skills and reduces defensiveness, allowing them to stay engaged when things feel difficult.
As Scott explains, the language children hear in their early years often becomes their inner voice. By using thoughtful and supportive phrases, parents and educators can positively shape that voice — helping children become more resilient, emotionally literate, and confident in facing life’s challenges.
For more details, listen to the full episode on the Harvard EdCast: The Words We Choose.
Discover Health and Wellness products and services that may support your child’s overall wellbeing:
Get a special discount by quoting code AISLMALL during CHECKOUT.
Allied Health School Services Program – Parents workshop (90 mins)
In 2023, ISS and OST Therapy launched the Allied Health School Services Program. The AHSS team offers personalized workshops for parents, focusing on speech/language skills, cognitive play, behaviour management, and building resilience. These workshops provide practical strategies to help parents support their child’s development and create a positive home environment.
Caritas – Counselling Services
Caritas Human Empowerment & Achievement Training (HEAT) offers counseling for marital issues, extra-marital affairs, divorce, and marriage enrichment. Services include family mediation, sex therapy, support for family conflicts, and therapy for emotional, behavioural, and learning issues in children, as well as mood, stress, anxiety, and trauma.
Health & Wellbeing – Deck of cards
Dr. Christopher Willard’s mindfulness decks offer exercises for emotional well-being, including *Mindful Parenting*, *Self-Love*, and tools for teens to manage depression, anxiety, and build resilience. Each deck provides practical mindfulness strategies for emotional growth and mental health at every life stage.
Health & Wellbeing Videos
Unlock mindfulness and communication skills with expert-led courses. Topics include fostering positive family dialogue, boosting academic performance through mindfulness, and age-specific practices for preschoolers, primary students, and teens, promoting focus, emotional balance, and resilience.
iLiving: Initial 90-minute Consultation with Supported Healing for Children
iLiving is a holistic wellness centre that offers integrated services for personal transformation. They provide a comprehensive approach to address both physical and mental health, focusing on modalities like bioresonance, life coaching, family constellations, and more to help clients achieve optimal well-being. This consultation includes health scan of a child who is suffering from chronic physical or mental health challenge and coaching to their caretaker/parent(s).
KFBG Transformative and Mindfulness Forest Immersion Walk
Kadoorie Farm and Botanic Garden (KFBG) delivers inspiring, awareness-shifting and transformative programmes with potential life-changing experiences. We offer an opportunity and a peaceful space in the natural environment of KFBG for participants to experience, to rethink, to identify and to be able to deeply connect and appreciate Gaia, our mother Earth, and the interconnection and interrelationship that we share with her. By being close to, and having a respect for nature, through our transformative workshops, people can experience a sense of deep happiness and spiritual contentment in which could facilitate a more holistic way of living.
Llegend – Diploma in Professional Aromatherapy
This aromatherapy course covers essential oils, anatomy, and therapeutic applications, combining theory and practice. Accredited by the IFA, it offers exemptions for the UK TQUK Level 4 Certificate. As Hong Kong’s leading college for aromatherapy, it boasts 7 international accreditations.
Therapy Services – 1 on 1 Offline Therapy Service
In 2023, ISS and OST Therapy launched the Allied Health School Services Program. Our certified speech-language pathologists and occupational therapists offer personalized therapy for speech, language, motor skills, emotional regulation, and self-care. We use evidence-based practices to support students’ academic and social growth, boosting confidence and promoting inclusive learning environments.
Wellbeing Books Series
Dr. Willard’s books blend mindfulness with practical approaches for families. Alphabreaths teaches kids mindfulness through ABC-themed breathing exercises, while Growing Up Mindful offers parents and educators tools to help children build resilience, self-awareness, and empathy through mindfulness.
