For young children, big feelings can often feel overwhelming. A preschooler might burst into tears, shout in frustration, or withdraw in silence, not because they want to misbehave, but because they simply lack the language to explain what they are feeling. Learning to recognise and label emotions is a vital part of social and emotional development in the early years, forming the foundation for skills such as empathy, self-regulation, and relationship-building. In fact, children between the ages of 3 and 8 are at an ideal stage to develop the skills to understand and manage their emotions effectively.
The Feelings Wheel, originally created by Gloria Wilcox in 1982 for teens and adults, is a useful tool to help young children better understand and express their emotions. When children can name their feelings, they are better able to express themselves, seek help, and build empathy for others. This foundation not only helps reduce tantrums and outbursts but also supports positive relationships and resilience as they grow. Here are some ways you can use the Feelings Wheel with young children:
1. Introduce It During Calm Moments
Place the wheel somewhere visible at home, such as on the fridge or in a play area. Talk through a few emotions together when your child is calm and curious, so they are familiar with it before strong feelings arise.
2. Use It to Check In
Ask open questions like, “Which word or face shows how you feel right now?” This creates a safe space for your child to reflect and share without pressure.
3. Expand Their Emotional Vocabulary
When children point at broad labels like “mad” or “sad”, you can gently introduce more nuanced words by sharing your own experience. For example, “I see that you’re angry. Sometimes when I feel angry, I also feel frustrated and hurt. Do you think either of those fits what you’re feeling?” This approach validates their emotion while offering new vocabulary, without suggesting that their original word was wrong. Over time, hearing a wider range of words helps children recognise the variety of feelings they may experience.
4. Demonstrate the Feelings Wheel Yourself
Show children that adults also have complex emotions by pointing to the wheel when you are tired, excited, or nervous. This normalises emotional expression and gives them a script for how to talk about feelings.
5. Pair Words With Strategies
Once an emotion is named, help your child connect it to an action: “I see you’re frustrated. Would you like to take a break or try again together?” Linking words with coping strategies builds problem-solving skills.
Every child develops emotional awareness differently. Some may quickly pick up new words and use them confidently, while others may need more time, repetition, or creative alternatives like drawing or role play. The key is patience and consistency: gently reinforcing that all feelings are valid and helping children find words to express them.
By weaving tools like the Feelings Wheel into daily routines, parents can make emotions feel less overwhelming and more understandable. Over time, children who learn to label their feelings are better equipped to manage challenges, connect with others, and grow into empathetic, emotionally resilient individuals.
Download the Feeling Wheel from Centervention.
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